


Easy to Idolize All Others Above

by Lady_Ganesh



Category: Dragonball Z
Genre: Community: queer_fest, Gen, Lost Love, Queer Gen, past crush
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-10
Updated: 2012-06-10
Packaged: 2017-11-08 20:40:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,019
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/447329
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Ganesh/pseuds/Lady_Ganesh
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gohan was always bigger, stronger, easy to love. Now...he's eleven. Written for the queerfest prompt: <em>Trunks doesn't know how to deal with the long-dead object of his affections suddenly being alive. And eleven.</em> Addresses canon character death.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Easy to Idolize All Others Above

Trunks sank into the couch at his mother's house and closed his eyes. He hadn't really thought any of this through. He'd had a goal, and he'd thought that would be enough. He hadn't expected--

"Trunks? Are you all right?"

 _Gohan._ Gohan, who even at eleven was the kindest of any of the fighters. Gohan, who Trunks remembered as tall, and broad, and handsome, and gone. Alive and well in this world, and still lost to him forever. "I'm fine," he said. "I just needed a break. It's hard, sometimes."

"I died too," Gohan said, shifting his schoolbooks nervously across his chest. "In your world. Dad told me."

"Yeah," Trunks said, and swallowed hard. He opened his eyes. Gohan's face was serious and thoughtful, and oh, Trunks could see the lines of the man he'd become, the man Trunks had been so stupidly in love with. (Not that man, he reminded himself; this Gohan would be different, was different already, with his father -- both their fathers -- around.)

"We were friends?"

"You were my teacher," Trunks said, which was true. "I -- I guess I idolized you."

"But you're so strong!"

Trunks chuckled at that. "You -- he, it's not really you -- were always stronger. You don't--" He struggled for the words. "I'm glad you don't have to live in such a horrible world. You were all alone, except for me, and I wasn't much help."

"I bet you were a lot of help," Gohan said. "And I'm glad we had each other. At least for a while. I'm glad you're here now, too."

The kid was so _thoughtful._ His Gohan had been too, but his thoughtfulness had taken such a different shape. Everything had been different. Was going to be different. His world was finally safe, but _this_ world wasn't, and this world's Gohan....

"Trunks?"

He turned and smiled at Gohan. "I'm sorry. Thanks for checking up on me." He reached out and ruffled the boy's hair. "It must be kind of weird for you too."

Gohan nodded. "It's okay, though. It's kind of cool. I hope our Trunks gets to look up to me too."

"I do too," Trunks said, and tried to ignore how much the thought hurt.

 

Goku found him a few hours later. He'd started reading one of Bulma's science magazines by then; well, he was turning the pages, anyway.

"Gohan thinks a lot of you," Goku said.

Trunks thought about sinking through the floor. He didn't want to face this all over again, this time with Gohan's father. "He's...he's a great kid. I hope...I hope he has a happier life, now."

Goku smiled. "Me too." He dropped into the chair next to Trunks. "You okay? It must be kind of weird, to have us all here."

"I'm okay," he said. He was mostly okay. It wasn't totally a lie.

"I'm sorry Vegeta's--"

 _"It's fine,"_ Trunks said, too quickly, too loudly. "I mean -- I'm fine. I'll be okay."

Goku patted him on the arm. "If you need to talk to somebody, I'm here, okay?"

"Thanks," Trunks said. "I appreciate it." Even though there was no way he'd ever take Goku up on the offer. _I'm sorry, Goku, it's just that sometimes when I look at your elementary schooler, I remember the guy I had a crush on, and it hurts even more than when my father won't look at me._

 

Mom would've understood, if she'd remembered losing Dad. He half-considered going back to his own time again, just to talk to her, but he was needed in this timeline, and too much travel might ruin everything for a whole new set of people.

She still ended up helping.

"Trunks," she said a few days later at breakfast. "You know, when I was your age, I got dumped."

He blinked at her.

"I thought he was everything I wanted in my life, you know? My heart beat faster every time I looked at him. And then he dumped me, and I cried for a whole month." She swallowed. "And then I realized that I was worth more than that, and that there was a lot more to my life than _pining._ Now I don't know what happened to you. Maybe the person you cared about died, I know...." She struggled for a second and then said, "I know you lost a lot of people you care about. But if that's what happened, then that person would want more for you. Would love you still, very much."

"He thought I was a kid," Trunks said, and wanted to bite back the words as soon as they were out. "He didn't--"

"He still loved you, Trunks," she said. "I know it. Because it's impossible not to love you."

"Mo-- Bulma--"

"I love little Trunks even when he's peeing all over me," she said. "I know the other Bulma did too. And I know you're a good man, and my Trunks will be too. And whoever he was -- if you cared about him, and he cared about you, then he loved you. Maybe not the way you wanted, but enough to want you to have a future, and a happy one. And I think you can do it. If anyone can, it's you."

He was stupidly, wordlessly glad for how quickly she'd started using _he._ Maybe she'd known all along; she was his mother, even here. He couldn't find the words to thank her for any of it, so he hugged her instead. "Thanks," he finally managed to stammer.

"Hey, it's my job. I'm your mom. Sort of."

He laughed a little, and hugged her tighter.

"You'll be okay," she said. "I know it. I mean, look at what you've done already."

Gohan had said something like that once. It seemed like a long time ago. _Enough to want you to have a future, and a happy one._

All right, Gohan, he thought. _I'll try. For my sake, and for the sake of the you who might have been. Because I don't love him the way I loved you, but it turns out you're both pretty easy to love._


End file.
